Growing up

I barely slept in the last three days.
I tried, but I couldn't sleep well.
Last night, I was doing an overnight flight so no sleep.
Three ago, I blamed the herbal tea that I had hours before bedtime.
Two nights ago, I just couldn't sleep well.
I've concluded that the things in my head are making me lose sleep.

Old memories crept back somehow and I keep replaying them and analyzing them. I really shouldn't since what's past is past.

The path ahead also seems uncertain. I think I have been somewhat demoralized by people who are quitting the job. There are good days still, but there are bad days also when I think that these people who are quitting are doing the right thing. Some days, like two days ago, when I got back to the hotel with my calves all sore and hadn't even had time to eat during the course of the flight, I felt like I would rather be served than to serve. (On 'good days', I actually take pity on the passengers for a long list of reasons which I might blog about some other time.)

There's also a part of me which can't leave my family behind. It's as though Singapore is about the furthest I can allow myself to go so that I can go back as and when I miss home. Truth is, I also really love Seoul. I wouldn't mind going there to work. But it'll most likely just be wishful thinking.

I've also been thinking about friendship. I am constantly reminded of how my friends have changed - some for the better, some not so much - by the things they say and do (or not). And all these affect how I feel about them and very likely, as I see it, the course the friendship will take.



I think I need a holiday.
(Funnily though, a friend thinks my work's a holiday in itself. That fella doesn't know what he's talking about!)


p/s: Alinta, I've tried ho yan hor and it actually doesn't taste so bad! :)