This is how I feel

There's so much in me right now that I feel I need a few hours by myself to sit down and just think about the feelings in me. How I feel about several things - and I do feel strongly about them - and where I go from here.

Just to name a few.
My friendship with a few of my longest friends. There were many incidents in the last few months and I know I've offended a few of them, but they've in turn hurt me back probably without realizing. I feel like I am talking to a wall sometimes. Maybe this is part of growing up, maybe it's time to move on without straining the friendship further.

My indifference towards a few of my close friends. Why is that so?

My work. If I like it so much, why quit? Who quits for a job to take home lower salary, and who quits to do work that one doesn't like? And the inner battle continues.

And so on.

The first one bugs me the most. I have other long time friends whom I can share my excitement with and they will share it back. But not them. If I remember right, they used to. But not anymore. Maybe we've grown apart from all this time apart that I no longer know how to communicate with them anymore. And at times I wish that they'd see why I get mad at them sometimes. To be proven again and again that they end up 'adopting' something that they initially couldn't agree with me cheeses me off, big time.